Truth or Dare: Smash Bros Style!
by Zeph the Mage
Summary: It's snowing, and that means trouble with the smashers stuck inside the mansion! When Captain Falcon announces a game of Truth or Dare, Ganondorf wants revenge on Link that might involve some smooching with a certain princess...


…**No explanation needed xD**

* * *

**Truth or Dare – Smash Bros Style!**

The smash mansion was a place of utter chaos. There was no other explanation for it. Some days, like today, Toon Link, Lucas, and Ness were running around the halls screaming bloody murder because of a spider. Captain Falcon was sitting in front of the flat screen like a little kid, watching a cooking show. On occasion he would yell, "FALCON retarded! How do you work this thing?" Mario and Luigi were fixing the areas where Bowser had replaced a wall with a signed hole. Peach was making cookies. Lucario was meditating. Wario was picking his nose. DK was playing rock-paper-scissors with Diddy, however using the real things. Snake was crawling around in a compromising position while smoking a cigarette. Ganondorf was cursing the heavens for not being able to use a sword in Brawl. And, well, the rest was just typical Smash Bros.

It was snowing madly outside, the wind creating blizzard-like drifts of white. With nothing else to do, the smashers were stuck inside the mansion – which meant trouble.

Captain Falcon gave up on trying to work the TV and slammed his finger on the power button, inevitably breaking the remote. While the three younger boys ran around him into the other room, Wario stood bluntly in the middle of it all scratching his butt.

"The cookies are ready!" Peach called in her mousy sing-song voice.

"Oh, give-a it a rest!" Mario grumbled irritably. "You've already-a baked-a three batches."

"He's-a right," Luigi replied. "But there are never any-a cookies for-a 'Wigi…" He sniffed sadly and rubbed his long nose.

Then Ganondorf stormed in, stomping loudly as if trying to make his point that he was outraged (yet he always was).

"Damn Nintendo!" he bellowed in his awkwardly deep voice. "Augh! A sword for a taunt?! Why does pretty-boy-in-the-tights get a sword, but not me?!"

"I don't wear tights!" Link screamed from the sofa, jumping up defiantly and plucking at his legs. "See? They're _pants_! Get over it!"

"It wouldn't matter anyway," Ganondorf continued, walking over to the blonde. "You're just lucky to be alive – probably don't have any balls in ya."

"AH!" Being a virgin, Link turned bright red. "You perverted old geezer!"

"Geezer?! You're the grandma around here!"

They lunged at each other with a fierce battle cry and rolled around on the floor, fists flailing madly.

"Guys, guys!" Peach snapped from the kitchen. "Please – calm down! Personally, I think both of you act like children."

The two stopped, Link on top of Ganondorf with their hands encircling the opponent's throat. They reluctantly let go of each other's necks and stood up, arms folded and backs turned.

"The _priiince_ has arrived!" Marth sang, bounding into the room and spinning in circles.

"And people think _I'm _gay," Link muttered in a disgusted voice, escaping to the kitchen.

"I want cookies too! FALCON PAAWWWNCH!" Captain Falcon yelled, announcing a not-so-surprising surprise attack to be the first to get some desert. At the sound of his voice, Wario, Toon Link, Lucas, Ness, Mario, Luigi, Diddy, DK, Zelda, Kirby, Pikachu, Lucario, The PT (Pokémon trainer), Pit, Ike, Fox, Falco, Wolf, Marth, Bowser, Snake, G&W, and Sonic burst into the huge kitchen demanding a plate of chocolate chip cookies. Link had been trampled on the floor, reaching his hand feebly to the counter and pulling his limp form up with a groan.

"Dear goddesses…" he whispered, as thin as a deflated balloon. He popped back to his normal size after a few seconds, his chibi eyes swirling dizzily.

After everyone had gobbled their cookies (which only took a few seconds), Peach announced, "I'm bored! I know, why don't we play a board game? That's why it's called a "board game", right? Because it's for when you're bored?"

The blunt glares sent her whimpering behind a counter, until Caption Falcon said (screamed, rather), "FALCON TRUTH OR DARE!!!"

"Yeah!" everyone agreed. Well, everyone except Peach – but she later gave in once the smashers began to settle in the living room floor.

The kids, that being Toon Link, Lucas, and Ness, got to go first.

"Wario!" they said. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he grumbled.

"Fart! Fart! Fart!" the three chanted, and the fat nemesis of Mario did so. Everyone around him blurted, "Ew," and scooted away while the kids burst out laughing. Next was Captain Falcon.

"FALCON POINT!" he yelled, stabbing a finger in Samus' direction. "C'mon, baby – show me ya boobs!"

"Screw you," the bounty hunter snapped, kicking the man between his legs. "Someone please go instead."

"I'll go!" Peach offered. "Marth, truth or dare?"

"Truth," the prince said with a sigh.

"Do you like someone?"

"Yes, and her name is delicious chocolate chip cookies," he replied, wiping his lips with his finger. Peach rolled her eyes, and Link went next.

"Alright, 'grandma'," he said with a smirk. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Ganondorf replied.

"Do the worm."

The man's golden eyes widened.

"What??" he spat.

"I said," Link chuckled. "Do the worm."

Everyone stared at the Gerudo King in unbelief, and a few snorts of laughter erupted from the ground. Ganondorf flushed slightly and flopped on his stomach, doing a terrible imitation of the move.

"You'll pay for that," he growled, getting out of the absurd position. An evil smile spread over his face. "Link…truth or –"

"Dare."

Link smiled. Ganondorf grinned wildly.

"I dare you to…"

He glanced between the hero and the princess beside him, and chuckled deeply.

"I dare you to make out with Zelda."

An echoed chorus of, "Ooh," went out over the crowd. Link and Zelda's faces were scarlet, and they glanced at each other nervously. Link was shy and Zelda wasn't that much of a straightforward person – though they cared for each other, they had never kissed before. Not once.

"Ha ha, he can't do it," Ganondorf taunted, and everyone chuckled quietly.

"What? I-I can do it," Link protested defiantly.

"Oh really? I bet you a thousand rupees you won't."

"I bet you a thousand rupees I will."

"Screw that, you don't have the money. You wouldn't do it anyway…you're too feminine."

"Wha –?!"

Link gasped loudly, burning with rage.

"Oh, you didn't!" he snapped. "That's it. Suck it up."

And then, to everyone's surprise, he pushed Zelda back against the couch and claimed her lips hungrily. A wolf-whistle went out as their tongues brushed. Link's hands trailed her curves seductively, and his kisses went to her cheek, neck, and exposed collar until he returned to her lips. It was forceful and deliberate – no doubt it would never happen again – but the wetness of his mouth and his intoxicating touch made Zelda melt. His tongue rubbed hers again, causing her to suppress a moan and wrap her arms around his neck. By that time Link was out of breath and he wrenched himself away from her, the watery string between their lips breaking unnoticeably. He sat with arms folded and legs crossed, eyes narrowed as he glared daggers at Ganondorf's dropped jaw.

"Holy…" Ganondorf didn't bother to curse, his eyes still transfixed on the two. Zelda remained on her back, panting in surprise with her eyes wide and a hand over her mouth.

"What's the matter, Ganon-dork?" Link taunted, lifting the corner of his lip.

"You actually did it!" Toon Link squealed. "We should upload this to YouTube!"

Link's soul departed when he noticed that his past incarnation was holding a cell phone, and had probably recorded the whole thing.

"Oh, hell, no!" he roared, and spent the rest of the game chasing the kid through the mansion.

* * *

**Fin! It took roughly an hour or so to write – I still don't see how I come up with this stuff. Well, I was reading a fanfic for an Anime which kinda gave me the idea, but…oh well :D How hard is it to push that little button? ^-^ Review! **


End file.
